Made me laugh
My name is Vivitar, and I’d like to apologize to everyone I hurt when I was pushing junk. There’s no excuse for the way I’ve behaved. With each new piece of photographic garbage I peddled, with every broken camera I shipped, I knew that someone out there would get hurt. I lied, I cheated, I acted like an animal with no conscience or morals. But all I cared about was getting high, chasing the unbeatable rush I felt from each new hit of cash. It was only when I woke up in a toilet stall at an after-hours camera club, leaking blood from an unexplained head wound and surrounded by printouts of dozens of one-star customer reviews, that I realized I had to turn my life around.
All I can say is, Woot!